I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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