Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
