If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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