called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
