i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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