is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
