Cold hands, warm shart.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
