i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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