seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
