My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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