i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
