oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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