I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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