worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
