I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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