ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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