I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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