Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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