he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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