Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
