I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
