We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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