she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
