I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
