I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
