he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
