You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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