WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
