dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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