i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize