Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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