May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
