Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Vodka?
Forever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
