I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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