Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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