I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
