He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
