He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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