I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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