it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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