I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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