you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
