I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize