fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
