We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
