butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
