Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
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...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
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Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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