if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
