i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
