You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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