Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
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Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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