GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
