Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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