You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
