butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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