i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
