i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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