This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
