Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
