He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
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.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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