oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
