did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
