im holly from the hills drunk
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
