I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
